Paranormal Asylum: The Revenge of Typhoid Mary (2013)

Honestly, I think the only major sin that a horror director can make these days is creating a boring film.

This is, honestly, a boring movie.

In theory, a movie about an asylum haunted by the ghost of Typhoid Mary could be interesting, you could go in a several different directions with this and end up somewhere worth being. It’s like the production team decided that safe is better and plowed ahead with a script that’s clunky, a cast that can’t act, effects that were, honestly, a waste of money, and scare tactics that I’m not sure would even work in a second-rate haunt attraction.

I think a large part of the film’s issues stems from the script not really knowing what it wanted to do-there are several subplots that just feel forced and confused. Not confusing, confused. What were they doing with Typhoid Mary on that island? Who knows! I’m not sure the writing team does, even! Add in a large dose of history, we don’t need no stinking history, and an odd recipe for shepherd’s pie and you have this movie.

I truly dislike coming down this hard on a film, but really. There are better ways to spend an hour and a half.

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