Clownhouse (1989)

I know, right?

I’m actually reviewing something?

Oh, the huge manatee!

I saw that on a Facebook meme. It’s stuck with me.


This is such a terrible, awesome, popcorn and soda party movie. You know how much I love to give you those films during October. Those movies that you can put on during a Halloween party and not really pay attention to but still have a good time with it.

The premise is pretty straightforward-three boys, all under the age of majority, end up spending the night in a house being terrorized by three not entirely stable men dressed up like clowns. There’s not much of a plot there beyond that. Kids, killer clowns, big empty house. The acting is terrible, so is the production. The script is non-existent.

‘Put him back in the closet!’

‘They already know he’s in there!’

I have to admit that I enjoyed the late 1980s overly electronic theme music and soundtrack. The now-retro telephone scenes are terribly amusing too.

I really don’t know what else to say about this movie. There’s really not much to say about it, there’s as much depth to this film as a wading pool. But…l love it. I mean, I love being able to fully pick apart a movie and tell you all the cultural meaning behind it. But sometimes you really just want crazy, killer clowns and kids who can’t act.

That’s a serious statement, by the way. B-horror fans will get it.



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