The Great Penguin Snub of 2014

penguin

Target.

Target I’m looking at you. Looking at you and giving you the side eye.

Because there are no penguins.

I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt and hope that maybe you just don’t have all the Christmas stuff out yet-because it is 3 weeks until what has become America’s most overlooked holiday. Maybe that end cap of ‘gifts in a jar’ with fake Fido jars and overpriced single Mason jars will be swapped out and my precious penguins will go there.

Because every year for the last three or four Mid has given me a penguin mug or a penguin dish from Target. I wouldn’t have gotten one tonight, but I hoped to pick one out to get it closer to Christmas.

But there are NO penguins this year.

There are however:

-Sugar skulls. Regardless of the fact that is the wrong $#@! holiday, and even my morbid self gives pause at hanging death imagery on a Christmas tree. I’m not sure that it crosses the line into appropriation but it definitely is a heavy handed dose of ‘not understanding what you’re looking at’.

-Wonky birds-I don’t go to Target to look for things that look like the things they’re supposed to be, but a lot of these birds look like they flew out of a Dali painting. This may or may not be a bad thing, depending on your stance in relation to Dali.

-Mustaches-…Can we really just stop with the mustache trend? This is going to be one of those things where you’re going to pull it out of the ornament box three years from now and wonder what you were thinking when you decided hanging facial hair from a tree was a good idea.

-Foxes-I think maybe Target is trying to convince us that foxes are the new penguins. Because they’re everywhere.

For that matter, I don’t remember even seeing that many Santas or angels.

Maybe that’s the problem. Maybe the foxes are invading.

I’m side eying you, foxes. Side eye.

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3 comments

  1. I don’t know when the mustache thing started happening, but as soon as it entered my consciousness, I was entirely ready for it to be over.

    The Dali birds sound cool, though 😉 And you might yet have time for penguins to arrive, as you say. I share the feeling of favorite animals being overlooked for stuff, though. I’ve yet to, say, see a greeting card with a Doberman on it (and even if I did, I’m not sure it would be in a tone I approved of).

  2. Ah, penguins are pretty big here in the UK, there is a TV advert for a big department store called John Lewis which is usually a big deal here. It was showed for the first time this last weekend and it heavily featured a very cute penguin – lucky us!

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